This past week has been AWEsome. Stars have seem to align, signs are landing square in my lap and I have been feeling full of life. But nothing prepared me for Sunday.
After all my introspection of late, I was floored when this was in our church bulletin as words for meditation.
Where will you place the talent you have been given?… Where will you focus the potential for creative action that is yours? Those are the questions before the man and woman of our time. I think we do not improve on the answer given by Isaiah twenty-five hundred years ago, “Here I am, Lord, send me.” – Dwight Judy
Prior to my diagnosis, I always asked myself this question. During some periods of my life I desperately clawed for the answer, others I wandered aimlessly in search of it, sometimes I simply ignored the burning question and most recently I am deeply aware of it but experiencing commitment issues and quite frankly, looking for the answer in the wrong places.
Then my angels doubled down to be sure I was paying attention and our call to worship read,
God wants our lives – not Sunday morning shiny, but all the fragments of our failures, the shards of our struggles and the sins that we’ve gathered and hidden away…our pains become gifts to be used for others. Our weakness becomes the dwelling place for the Spirit’s strength. Our broken-open lives become bearer’s of God’s grace.
And in that moment I really began to let go of the shame of all the messy, crazy, unpretty stuff of the past and present and clear some space to allow me to receive. I got really, really still. Silence in a room full of people. And for the first time, I understood what this advice from my dear friend, Amy D, really meant. (Thank you, Amy.)
But, just to drive the message home, our unison prayer went in part like this,
Grant me the awareness of all I have been given – the courage to give back in full measure – and the wisdom to see both of these as blessings.
Grant me the awareness of all I have been given – the courage to give back in full measure – and the wisdom to be grateful for both of these blessings
Grant me the awareness of all I have been given – the courage to give back in full measure – and the wisdom to gratefully acknowledge gifts given and blessings received.
There I sat. In awe of the words being spoken to me. I am not any closer to knowing where I will place the talent I have been given, but I know exactly where to place my trust. And that’s all I need to know. The rest will be shown to me when it should and I’ll be ready to receive it.
So, where will you place the talent you’ve been given? If you’re not sure what that talent is, maybe you just need to make some space in your heart for it. Who knows? It’s at least worth a try.